


Culture Shock

by FallenFrisk



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen, also very very not u/su/k, i honestly cannot tell, i just rlly love culture differences and petty fights between america/england, i wrote this on a whim im sorry, is this crack, pls do not interpret as romantic u/s/u/k!!!!!!, theyre brothers !!! so
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-10-06 09:17:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10331396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallenFrisk/pseuds/FallenFrisk
Summary: "Alfred. What is this.""...It's tea.""It's really not."A variety of ficlets about contrasting culture.





	

**Author's Note:**

> All these are based off of various posts from here:  
> buzzfeed.com/andyneuenschwander/22-times-americans-confused-the-hell-out-of-everyo  
> Lines are often directly copied.  
> Don't interpret as romantic, please!

"Alfred. What is this."

There was a solid couple seconds of silence where Alfred could only blink at Arthur from across the table. He was only trying to serve his brother a cup of tea (England is crazy about it for whatever reason,) but he was greeted with a deadpan stare instead of the gratitude he ought to have earned. After a couple more seconds silence, only to confirm Arthur was indeed not joking, he answered; voice hesitant and expression as blank as England's. 

"... It's tea." 

"It's really not."  
The clock ticked for a few beats.  
"... Yeah, it is."  
"If _England_ is telling you it's not tea, it's _not tea, America._ "

Alfred returned the other country's glare, sitting down with a huff.  
"It's tea, dude. I think I know what tea is."

"But... but it's liquid! Tea isn't liquid!" Arthur suddenly blurted, red-faced. "I can't believe I have to explain this to you."

"What is going on in England where tea isn't liquid? How do you even drink it if it's not liquid?" Alfred's expression had melted from irritation to utter bafflement, mouth gaping slightly, hands curled around the tea jug in question defensively. As far as he was concerned, it was just sweet tea. You make tea by pouring it out of the jug and into the cup. It's basic, and it's mildly concerning the way Arthur is looking at him like he kicked a puppy.

Arthur fished into his shirt pocket, mumbling to himself. What he produced a moment later, fervently showing Alfred, leaning over the table, was a simple bag of tea. It smelled like tea. It looked like tea. Alfred really... wasn't sure what to do with this information.

"...Is it tea-"  
"Of course it's tea, idiot! What else would it be? Tea is a bag. You put it in hot water and drink it. You don't... you can't just pour it like this." It was now England's turn to be utterly confused, almost looking _frightened_ of the drink in front of him. Whenever he spoke, he gesticulated wildly, so much that Alfred had to move his cup aside so it wouldn't spill. 

"Honestly. How do you even drink this? What do you do once it's already liquefied..? Just... put it in the microwave?" He said, slumped against his chair and swirling the drink in his hand accusingly. 

"Nah, it's cold. You drink it cold."

" **You're not supposed to drink tea cold!** Who drinks cold tea? " Arthur rose from his chair and cried, fingers withdrawing from the cup like he'd been burnt. 

"It's just sweet tea! C-Calm down! Have you really never had sweet tea?!"

"America, what are you even _doing?_ This is an outrage. That is NOT how tea is done!"

"Alright, listen here, man. You stole tea from China. You've had it, like, what? 4 centuries? China's had it for 30. Don't you start trashing my tea like you own the concept. Take it to Yao. Leave our delicious sweet tea alone."

"Oh, whatever! All of America is backwards..." Arthur grumbled, settling back into the seat, fingers gripping the sides of the table till his knuckles were white.  
  
The clock ticked on. 

"At least I asked before I taxed my citizens." America mumbled.

England splashed the tea in America's face.


End file.
